When I first tried the M-Pen, it was nothing like what I expected. The initial short pull didn't give me a very full effect, so I wasn’t expecting much when then the second one hit me quite powerfully.
As soon as I started feeling the effects, I noticed some faint geometric patterns, similar to my previous experiences with ayahuasca. But the biggest difference was the shift in my state of mind.
Normally, before taking the pen, I would meditate for a few minutes, focusing on my breathing and calming my mind. But once I took the pull of the M-Pen, I couldn't concentrate on my breathing anymore. It was as if my mind was transported to the top of a mountain, where I couldn't feel my breath.
I imagined myself in a whiteout blizzard on the top of a mountain, trying to find warmth and comfort. Closing my eyes, I visualized this environment and tried to convince myself that I was there. It was strange because normally my meditation practice revolves around focusing on my breath, but with the pen, I couldn't connect with my breath at all. Despite that, I was able to stay present in my imagined mountain scenario.
One thing I noticed was the disconnection from my body. I didn't feel my body in the same way. It felt heavy, and I had a sense of dissociation from it. However, I was still aware of my surroundings and of the presence of my friend who gave me the pen. It was like being in tune with everything while not being fully attached to my own body. It was a unique sensation, and I found it fascinating. There is a slight feeling of fuzziness and a touch of jitteriness, but overall, it was a pleasant experience.
Physically, I felt a mild warmth and a sense of relief, similar to the feeling you get when stretching your body after a long time. There were no intense physical sensations, but rather a subtle and pleasant feeling. The pen allowed me to enter a state of blissful detachment from my body, where I could let go of any concerns about breathing or bodily sensations.
This acted as a tool to enhance my meditation. Normally, I struggle to meditate for more than 10 to 15 minutes, especially when I'm at home. But with the pen, I could extend my meditation time. It provided a contrast to my usual practice, and I could see the value in assisting with meditation and focus.
In this first session I didn't have any spiritual or profound experiences. There were no revelations or deep introspections. It was more of a physical and cognitive experience for me. My mind was mainly focused on the mountain scenario I had created, and there were no intrusive thoughts or distractions during the session.
I found it to be an interesting and enjoyable journey. I had a unique perspective and it allowed me to explore different mental states. I can see how this could be a useful tool for meditation and achieving a sense of oneness and connection. It's not something I would have anticipated, but it definitely opened my mind to new possibilities.
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This user story was created from an audio recording and transcript of an interview. The user’s words were run through an AI large language model to turn it into a more readable account, and the user approved the final text. The image of the user is a CGI depiction. All the names in this report were changed to ensure anonymity.